50 ways to practice self-compassion
Photo by RDNE Stock project on Pexels.
Recently, my psychologist has been teaching me about self-compassion. The term ‘compassion’ can mean different things to different people, but it essentially refers to an awareness, understanding and empathy for the suffering of others. On the other hand, self-compassion is when you extend that compassion to yourself! This involves acknowledging when you are feeling low, then showing yourself kindness rather than criticism. It can be a challenging skill to learn, but worthwhile - people who are self-compassionate tend to have better mental health and report higher levels of life satisfaction than those without.
Thankfully, my lovely psych sent me a list called “Ways to be more self-compassionate…”. I’ve adapted the list and added some new ideas to make it more suitable for my fellow neurodiverse folk. If you’re feeling in need of some self-compassion, have a scroll through the list and see if any of the strategies appeal to you. These are in no particular order. Think of it as a resource to help prompt your own ideas for practising self-compassion.
Watch the sunset or the sunrise.
Listen to an audiobook.
No multi-tasking! Find a comfortable place to relax and focus purely on the listening experience.
Put on a favourite song and dance along.
Invite a friend or family member over for a cuppa.
Visit a café, order a hot drink, then sit by yourself and slowly savour it.
Bonus points if you can do it without scrolling on your phone. Sit and read a magazine or observe the people around you.
Light a scented candle.
Write a journal entry.
Do some mindful colouring.
You can use a colouring book if you have one, but there are also plenty of free colouring pages available online if you have a printer! If you don’t have coloured pencils, your local newsagents or supermarket should have some for a few dollars.
Visit a local park and find somewhere to sit and relax.
Listen to live music.
Treat yourself to some fresh produce and eat it.
Personally, I’m a strawberry girl, but because fresh fruit is so expensive I don’t have them all the time. Actually sitting down and savouring some strawberries always improves my mood!
Meet up with a friend for lunch.
Make time to get eight hours of sleep every night (or more if you need it).
Gardening.
Not everyone is lucky enough to have their own garden, but you might know friends or family who do. Bonus - if you help someone else with their garden, you improve their day, too!
Take an online class and learn a new skill.
Practice yoga.
If you’re no yogi, combine 15 & 16 and do a yoga class online! There are plenty of great videos on YouTube that can help you get started with the basics at home.
Order a fresh smoothie or juice.
Watch an episode of your favourite show without any distractions.
Play with a fidget toy.
Cuddle or pat an animal.
This is perfect if you already have a pet, but even if you don’t, you can try visiting a friend with one, hanging out at a dog park or even going to a children’s farm where you can interact with the animals.
Read a novella or graphic novel in one sitting.
Start a gratitude journal.
Tidy up your bedside table.
Take those dirty dishes to the kitchen, bin those tissues and dust any flat surfaces. You’ll feel so much more relaxed once it’s done, I promise.
Start a new craft project…
…or finish off an old project that’s been sitting around for ages.
Wake up earlier than usual and use the extra time to do something just for you.
Get an indoor plant to care for.
It doesn’t need to cost any money - you can ask friends or family for cuttings or seedlings, or check out Facebook Marketplace for freebies. That said, a trip to Bunnings can be lots of fun, too!
Dedicate some time to gentle stretching.
This works well if you can do it every day, but even stretching every so often can help you stay in touch with your body and ground yourself.
Bake a sweet treat, just for fun.
Take a walk around a national park.
Read a memoir by someone that you admire.
Decorate something.
Put stickers on a notebook, add a cute keyring to your keys, or even doodle on a tissue box! Spend some time focusing on making something you own look prettier than before.
Write a list of things that you like about yourself.
Listen to a guided meditation.
Go star-gazing.
Floor time.
Many neurodiverse people find that spending time on the floor can be hugely helpful with self-regulation. Get a blanket or cushion if you need it and just spend some time primary-school style, getting re-acquainted with the floor.
Do something with your hands, like crocheting or knitting.
Sit outdoors for a few minutes, focusing entirely on the sensory experience.
Pick a bouquet of wildflowers for yourself.
Make sure you choose where you pick them from carefully - don’t take them from any private property! Local parks and nature strips are usually safe places to hunt for pretty flowers.
Write a letter to a friend.
Walk around a garden centre or nursery.
Make a playlist.
It can be a collection of favourite songs, or, for a challenge, choose a theme to base it around. Alternatively, you could make a CD for a friend!
Fold an origami creation.
Repeat a positive mantra, either aloud or in your head.
Draw or paint something in a sketchbook.
Experiment with ‘dopamine dressing’.
‘Dopamine dressing’ is essentially wearing items of clothing that make you happy! The rules of fashion don’t apply - wear clashing patterns, bright colours, loose or tight fits, whatever sparks a bit of joy when you look at it. You don’t have to dive right in, either. It could start with something as small as a funky pair of socks.
Fill a blank page with whatever thoughts pop into your head as you write.
Make yourself a fancy beverage using your favourite ingredients.
Lay in the grass and watch the clouds.
And, my personal favourite…Take a nap!
